The Integral Business Development System

Given my recent relocation, it’s not surprising that change and transition have been on my mind. So I thought it would be appropriate to share with you an article about this topic.

Any kind of change — whether big or small — can be stressful. Not only that, other people’s stress and anxiety about changes they may be facing can be equally stressful!

What makes change difficult for people? And what can one do about it?

Well, think about a particularly trying time in your life or career. What specifically was difficult for you? What, if anything, caused you to feel stressed during that time? In retrospect, what do you think would have helped?

Different people have different reactions to change.

Some people resist change, because they focus on what they have to give up, such as “the old way of doing things, which may not have been the best but at least we know how it works”. Even if the new way is or could potentially be better, even if they actually want to change, they may resist because it’s unfamiliar or unknown and therefore uncomfortable.

Then there are others who just charge ahead. Their focus may be on the “good stuff ahead”, but it may also be on avoiding or minimizing the discomfort of the transition. Their attitude seems to be: “If it’s going to be uncomfortable, let’s get this over with quickly!”

Which one of these resonates with you? Or does your reaction vary based on the context?

In his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges describes the process that people go through when dealing with change.

In this process or “roadmap”

1. The first stage is endings: giving up something known and familiar.
2. The next stage is the “neutral zone” which is in between the old way and the new way. This is the uncomfortable area where we feel lost and unsure because we’ve given up the old way, but we don’t yet know what the new way is.
3. The final stage is the new beginning, when we begin to feel comfortable with the new territory and feel encouraged about the new possibilities.

Based on where one is in this “roadmap”, the world looks and feels very different.

Also, as I mentioned at the beginning, each person reacts and responds to change differently. Not only have that, each of us goes through this process at different “speeds”.

For instance, we may have come to terms with an event and moved into the new beginnings stage, people around us, who’re also affected by the same event, may be still at the endings or neutral zone.

So how we experience a particular event or situation is also influenced by how other people around us react and respond to it — i.e. their behavior and attitude towards the same event or situation color our responses.

Human beings are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable. So when there is a change — whether in a situation or in a person, and no matter how small — this routine is disrupted in some way.

This usually stirs up feelings and emotions, and behind those emotions are some very basic questions. Left unanswered, we fill in the void with our own assumptions and stories.

For instance, let’s take a simple everyday scenario.

You arrange to meet a friend at a particular time and place. You arrive at the meeting point at the designated time, but don’t see your friend there. Since you don’t know why your friend is late, you automatically look for some reason to explain the delay and you use this as basis for deciding what to do next.

You may assume that your friend probably got delayed in traffic and decide to wait. On the other hand, if your friend is more than a few minutes late and you haven’t heard from her, you may worry that something is wrong, and you may start wondering about what it could be.

Similarly, when something happens that is out of the ordinary, people wonder what happened and why. And just like in this simple example, if they don’t have any answers or information, they make assumptions or speculate on the possibilities.

So what are some of the basic questions people have, when they are facing change?

• Purpose: One of the first things that people want to know is the reason for a change. The questions are, “what’s going on?” or “why is this happening?”
• Picture: People want to know how the end result will look. In other words, “what’s the vision?” and “how will things be when all the changes are complete?”
• Plan: People want to know what to do, as well as the plan to get from the current situation to the new reality. Depending on the nature of the change, the questions could be, “what’s the new process?” or “how should we conduct business while things are changing?”
• Part: Finally, perhaps most importantly, people what to know where they fit into the new picture. If things are going to be different, what will their new role be? Will they even have a role?

Our interpretation and understanding of these questions (or lack of it) determines how we experience change – whether it’s stressful or not.

And this understanding directly affects how we deal with situation we’re in — the decisions we make, the actions we take, our overall attitude, and so on.

Here is a free worksheet to help you apply these concepts to your particular situation:

Manage Change without the Stress

To download this worksheet, click on the above link, and use the “Save a Copy” button that will appear on the screen to save it on your computer. This document is in PDF format, and you will need Adobe® Reader® to read it. If you don’t have Adobe® Reader®, click here to download a free copy from here.

Be prepared for some thought-provoking questions!