The Integral Business Development System

When we’re anticipating something negative, such as potential lay-offs or business slowdown, the stress and anxiety we feel can be understandable.

But when we’re expecting something positive, such as starting a new job or landing that dream project — why is that stressful and anxiety-provoking?

Well, that’s because anxiety is always about the future, not the present.

For instance, during the last few days of my first pregnancy, when all the preparations were complete, it seemed as if I had nothing to do but wait. Wait for the baby to arrive. Wait for the related flurry of activities to begin.

As I waited, I noticed myself getting restless: I found myself wanting to “do” things (something, anything), and I noticed that I couldn’t focus on anything for a very long period of time — it seemed that both my body and mind were fidgeting!

I recognized this as my way of being anxious.

When we’re anticipating something — positive or negative — our minds fast-forward into the future and conjure up all kinds of “what if” scenarios.

This continual generation of “what if” scenarios is bad enough. It’s exhausting to have our minds race and jump through hoops, while preventing us from focusing on the present (i.e. what’s actually going on!).

What’s worse, however, is that we often begin to believe these “what if” scenarios.

We make decisions and take actions as if we’re living in this “virtual reality” our mind has created. This makes us even more stressed, because now we’re really out of synch with reality.

Sound familiar? (Yes, to me too — been there, done that!)

To get past any anxiety you feel about succeeding (or about failing, for that matter), you must get out of the anxiety-provoking “virtual reality” that you’ve created. And get back to the present.

Here’s how:

First, learn to recognize how and when anxiety “shows up” for you, so you can catch yourself before you get too deep into your “virtual reality”.

• Pay attention to when you get anxious. In other words, what specifically gets you worrying about the future? For instance, is it a conversation, an image, a person, a situation, etc.?
• In these moments, how does your body react? For instance, does your breath become shallow, do you sit on the edge of your chair, do you fidget, do you distract yourself doing “busy work”?
• What exactly are your thoughts and concerns during this time? For example, do find yourself repeatedly thinking about “what if things don’t work out?” Or, are your thoughts more like, “what if things DO work out, then what?”

Second, when you do notice yourself in this state, pause long enough to consider these questions:

• What specific repercussions are you concerned about? What are some ways you might address them, if they do occur?
• What assumptions are you making? Are they valid?

After you do this exercise for a few weeks, you’ll have a good understanding of how you experience anxiety, and what triggers it.

As a result, you’ll gradually start noticing your anxiety before you get too worked up. And, you’ll know how to get yourself out of this state, and back to the present.

Try it.