The Integral Business Development System

The topic of being productive in the midst of everything else that goes on in one’s life is very relevant for me right now, since I just had our second baby earlier this month!

So this month’s article is all about how to be more productive, especially in the context of “real life”.

When you think of being more productive, do you primarily think about what more YOU can do?

If you’re an “independent type” like me, you probably do (even though you probably also know that you can often be far more productive by enlisting the help of others)!

Now, here’s an interesting thing I have noticed about myself: I often resist “asking for help”, and yet I have no difficulty “delegating”.

What’s the difference?

Both involve asking another person to do something for you. But clearly, in my mind there is a difference. And this difference, whether perceived or real, affects my productivity.

For example, when I’m on “auto pilot”, I sometimes find myself spending a lot of precious time trying to do stuff by myself — tinkering, fiddling, researching, reading.

While this can be very enjoyable for certain projects, it can also be a productivity drain and an ineffective use of my time. And in retrospect, I will realize that I could have approached the whole project another way and got the same kind of enjoyment without wasting so much time.

So I started paying attention to this habit of mine.

And here is a story that I hope is useful for you to be more productive:

I recently converted a couple of my websites into blogs. I wanted to do this by myself (vs. outsourcing it) because I wanted to learn about this technology. I enjoy working on technical projects like this from time to time, and it also helps me stay current.

This time, I noticed a big difference in my approach, compared to other times when I tried to do something new.

This time I noticed that I started the whole “blog” project by talking to someone very knowledgeable about the topic. I got his advice and suggestions on what to do, what not to do, ideas on setup and layout, and so on.

Then, as I tried to implement it, I noticed myself doing something very unusual (for me) — as soon as I hit a roadblock of some sort — I couldn’t figure something out within a few minutes — I asked for help.

For instance, way at the beginning, I asked this very knowledgeable person if he could come over and show me some stuff online. And he was happy to do so.

This is something I would have resisted doing tooth and claw before! However, having done it, I experienced how painless it was — of course, I already knew that asking for help wasn’t difficult. Anyway, in one afternoon, I completed something that would have probably taken me DAYS to do without this help.

Having had this experience, I found myself easily calling or emailing this person with quick questions, whenever I got stuck after that — instead of trying to figure it out all by myself.

So what allowed me to ask for help? What cause this shift in my approach?

For starters, I wasn’t on “auto pilot” — I was consciously paying attention to how I went about this “blog” project.

Second, I used a simple practice to understand when and why I didn’t or couldn’t ask for help.

The “practice” involves asking myself the following questions, every time I found myself being unproductive because I didn’t want to ask for help:

• What part of me is resisting asking for help?
• Who would I have to be, in order to ask for help?

Answering these two questions can be very revealing.

It certainly was for me! For instance, one thing I discovered was that I hesitated to “ask for help” in situations where I felt vulnerable for some reason. Whereas I “delegated” quite happily in situations where I did not feel vulnerable.

So by addressing the “vulnerability” factor in a given situation, “asking for help” became as easy as “delegating” for me.

If you want to be more productive, start by asking yourself 2 questions:

1. When and how often do you enlist the help of others?
2. What do you know about what helps and what prevents you from doing so?

For more information on this topic, check out the book You Are What You Say: The Proven Program that Uses the Power of Language to Combat Stress, Anger, and Depression. Chapter 4 has a whole section about how and why people are unable or unwilling to ask for what they want. And how they can become more comfortable in this area, if they want to.